Leave it to Technology to Screw You Over
by Sakura.Uchiha.614
Summary: When Sasuke barrows Itachi's phone to sex Sakura things get out of hand. What he doesn't know is that Naruto also asked Sakura if he could barrow her phone to sext Hinata. Two phones, two boys and one cruel turn of fate. R


**(This is the only number that you need to know due to the fact that all the other numbers will not show up or are already programmed into the phones)**

**Itachi's Number: **_345-676-8888_

**Leave it to Technology to Screw You Over**

**By: Regina Guthrie**

Onyx orbs glared at the ceiling in mere annoyance. Four whole weeks without a cell phone and three weeks without having the privilege of leaving the house. Considering it had only been three days, six hours, and twenty-four minutes the sixteen year old was beyond pissed.

Mumbling to himself the dark haired boy shifted faintly in an attempted to get comfortable on the bed he had been laying on through most of his punishment. Being as stubborn as he was, Sasuke Uchiha refused to step foot out of his room seeing that he was excessively ticked off with his parents pronouncement of penalty for the actions that many teenage boys his age had been caught doing.

This young man, Sasuke Uchiha, was very clever. Everyone knew how smart and deceiving the heart throb was. He was almost unstoppable, that's right, _almost_. There was only one thing holding him back from getting away with everything and anything though. That's right, even _Sasuke Uchiha_ had a weakness. And that my dear friend was his humanity. Just like every human in the human race, Sasuke had made a mistake, a very _Stupid _mistake.

Oh yes. You heard right. _The _Sasuke Uchiha had made a _stupid _mistake.

While texting- or rather _sexting_ -his beloved girlfriend of two years he had been too, how do I put this, _horny_ and _needy_ of a certain pink haired girl to notice that when he went to text/sext back he indeed had placed the wrong receiving number into the sending bar.

That alone was a stupid move, right?

Couldn't get any worse, right?

Wrong.

_To: Sasuke_

_From: Mom_

_Sasuke Uchiha get your butt in here NOW. I'm about to shove a bar of soap into that mouth of yours while you moan, and believe me darling it won't be from 'pure pleasure' as you put it._

That's right everyone! Sasuke had screwed up and sent his naughty message to his _mother. _

To say he was shocked by his mothers text was a complete and utter understatement. At first he didn't understand what he heck she was talking about until he scrolled through his sent texts and his heart skipped a beat when he looked at a message he had clearly meant to send to Sakura but accidentally sent to his mom.

_To: Mom_

_From: Sasuke_

_You'll deep throat me as I shove me cock deep into your mouth while you moan in pure pleasure._

Talk about embarrassing.

"Stupid advanced technology." The teen grumbled to himself in aggravation. "Probably would have thought it was father if cell phones didn't have number storage to screw people over with." He continued to rant lowly to himself. Not being able to get out of the house for a while could change a guy but not having sex in three- almost four -days could completely turn said guy into a raging hurricane of destruction.

Without his cell phone, which his parents had so kindly taken away for a month, Sasuke had no way to relieve himself of his hormonal torment. At least when he and Sakura didn't have sex he had sexting to bring, not as much pleasure as real sex, but _something._ Without his beloved devise the pore young Uchiha was going through sex withdraw and it was _killing _him.

Sasuke continued to glare at nothing angrily. He needed to relieve this sexual tension that was building around him some how. But how?

...

Suddenly a smirk over took the teenagers features.

-**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

"I let you use my condoms and the backseat of my car for sex and now you expect me to let you use my cell phone too? Don't you think you are getting a bit selfish, little brother?" The older Uchiha teased with a smirk carved onto his handsome features.

"Mom and dad took mine." Was all Sasuke replied with as he crossed his arms over his well built chest, eyeing the small device his brother was tossing back and fourth between his hands.

"Maybe you should be more careful." Sasuke snorted at Itachi's words. _He_ of all people had no room to lecture. When he was Sasuke's age he had tried to send a naughty text to his girlfriend and accidentally sent it to one of his best friends. It took him nearly a year to convince the guy that he wasn't gay.

"Just let me use your phone."

"What if I don't, Sasu-cakes?" Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"Don't call me that Itchi-bear." He mocked, causing Itachi's eyebrow to twitch also.

"You let Sakura call you it. Why can't I?"

"Because I don't get anything unless I let her call me that." He hissed, reaching for his brother's phone only to have it yanked out of his reach. Sasuke groaned. Why was Itachi so cruel to him?

"Oh but little brother, I could give you some too." Itachi teased as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down in a seductive manor. Sasuke frowned in repulsion.

"Yaoi lover" Sasuke mumbled as he ran his fingers through his silky locks in aggravation. Itachi chuckled.

"Only for you, _Sasu-cakes_, only for you." Sasuke smirked lightly at his words. He truly couldn't help it. He and Itachi were as close as close could get even though they didn't act like it sometimes. Their love ran deep in a _non-_Yaoi way. The bond they shared simply just couldn't be broken.

"Enough with the harassment" Sasuke spoke up clearing his throat slightly before thrusting his hands deep into his pockets. "Let me use the phone...p-please." Itachi tried to hide his amusement as he watched the sulking face of his younger brother for a few more moments.

"Are you that sexually deprived that you have to _beg_ to use this?" Itachi teased while throwing the phone lightly up into the air and catching it softly and then throwing it up again. Words couldn't describe how much he loved to taunt his little brother. It was just too amusing to pass up.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in anger at his brother's game. His patients were running thin. All he wanted was to sext Sakura. What was the big deal!

"Just let me use it!"

"Nope"

"Now!"

"Tsk tsk little brother. You'll never get anywhere with such aggression." Sasuke groaned while throwing his head back in irritation.

"Itachi!" Sasuke growled, getting ready to pounce his older brother.

"We never talk anymore Sasuke. I think this suspension from your phone and girlfriend is a marvelous idea. We could have some brother bonding time." Itachi insisted, hoping his little brother caught his drift.

Sasuke groaned, wanting to hit himself in the forehead with the palm of his hand. He knew exactly what Itachi wanted. Either he gave it to him or he went without any sexual relief for the rest of his punishment.

"Fine you pervert." Sasuke gritted out, moving towards the older male who smirked at what he had achieved. He didn't pull the phone away this time when Sasuke snatched it from his grasp but only chuckled. "But keep your thoughts and comments to yourself." Sasuke hissed, slumping down onto his brother's bed in a non-graceful manor.

"Will do" And with that he watched as Sasuke started to push buttons extremely fast on his cell phone. What he wanted was to get to read the messages and so, as always, that's what he got.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

"Sakura-chan?" The blue orbed male whispered softly while gently poking said girls nose. The sleeping seventeen year old only mumbled in her sleep and twitched her nose ever so slightly. Naruto grinned at his room mate before snickering when she murmured something about Sasuke and his ass.

"Sakura-chan?" He continued to attempt to disturb her peaceful slumber.

"Sasuke-kun! Leave me alone or else I'll tell Naruto the truth." The blonde's ears perked up at this and his grin turned into a goofy smile.

"And what would the truth be, Sakura-chan?" Naruto purred into his best friend's girlfriend's ear, trying to sound husky and seductive like the Uchiha who nearly had this girl squirming in his hold. He watched as her lip twitched into an evil grin.

"I'll tell him that you lied about your size and you really are a half a centimeter smaller than him." Her voice was murmured and Naruto had to strain his ears to hear but when he finally comprehended her words he had to bite his lip to hold back his laughter.

"I knew it! I knew the teme was lying! No one is bigger then my mammoth Weenie!" The blue orbed male screamed in a whisper as he air punched towards the ceiling.

He truly loved when he tried to wake Sakura up. She _always_ leaked something with her sleep talking. To her it might have been considered a curse but to him it was considered a gift the lord had blessed him with. His best friend's girlfriend was his room mate _and_ leaked secrets while she was sleeping. That's what you call hitting two birds with one stone!

"Sakura-chan-" Naruto whispered once more, this time poking her cheek lightly. "How long does teme last during sex?" He asked with excitement written all over his features.

"Twenty" She murmured.

"Second?" Naruto questioned with his eyes gleaming and his smirk as wide as could be.

"Minutes" She corrected while turning back over towards the wall.

"Awe man!" Naruto mumbled in disappointment. "I thought I had something." He ranted in dissatisfaction.

"Naruto, what are you doing in my room?" Sakura groggily asked as she squinted one of her emerald eyes to glance at the blond who was seated Indian style on her floor. He jumped slightly from the sound of her voice but then relaxed.

"I was wondering if I could use your phone." He informed her, not so quietly anymore. Sakura scrunched her eyebrows up at his loud pitch before groaning.

"What happened to yours?"

"It fell in the toilet."

"Again?" Naruto nodded sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

"You make it seem like I do it all the time." He laughed nervously. Sakura shook her head with a sigh.

"You do." She muttered, reaching out towards her nightstand. Her finger tips felt around until they made contact with the small device that was hooked up to it's charger. "None of the numbers are programmed in it yet. I just got this one. Please don't ruin it." She told him with a sigh as she handed it to him. Naruto grinned.

"Yay! Thank you Sakura-chan! If you weren't teme's girlfriend I'd kiss you!"

"Hm, guess it's a good thing I'm his girlfriend, huh?"

"Sakura-chan!"

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

Naruto gleamed down excitedly at the small device cradled in his hand. He had just sent a text message to Hinata and couldn't wait for her reply.

A small tune began to play as the light on the main screen lit up, causing Naruto's grin to stretch wider. Moving his thumb over the small button that read _'Open'_ he pressed it and was granted with the opportunity to read his girlfriends response.

_From: 345-676-8888 _

_To: Sakura_

_Hey sexy_

_I've been thinking about you. I can't wait to get into your pants. My fingers are itching with anticipation__.__-SC _

Naruto tipped his head to the side a bit in confusion. SC? What was with all these weird smiley face things? Some of them didn't even look like smiley faces. Never the less Naruto smirked while pressing the _'Reply'_ button and continuing to type.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

"Geez, little brother it seems as though you've had a lot of practice at this, haven't you?" Itachi teased as he watched his brother send the message he had typed in. He scanned the words as he raised an eyebrow. "SC?" He question. Sasuke shrugged.

"Sasu-cakes" He mumbled in embarrassment. He had placed it at the end so Sakura would know it was him instead of Itachi, that way she wouldn't be freaked out at the idea of his brother sexting her.

Itachi chuckled, about to comment when the small phone dinged, indicating a new message. Sasuke opened it.

_From: Sakura _

_To:_ _345-676-8888_

_Ditto bby._

_I can't wait 2 get my hands on u and nibble on ur nipples while u moan my name._

Sasuke blushed slightly as he read the message, Itachi reading over his shoulder. On any normal occasion he would have smirked at her braveness since Sakura had a hard time dirty talking over the phone or text messages. But with his brother reading he felt embarrassed.

Itachi chuckled lightly. "You let her do that?" He teased with a grin causing his brother to look away as his cheeks began to heat up.

"Shut up" He murmured as he began to type again, Itachi reading as he went.

"Huh, Lots of practice I presume." He stated in amazement at what he brother had sent next.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_From: __345-676-8888_

_To: Sakura_

_Mmm, not if I get to yours first and squeeze them until their hard and sensitive. I'll lick and nip them until their numb and you can't breathe properly._

Naruto chuckled lightly while shaking his head_._

"Hinata-chan finally learned how to sext! I'm so proud of her!" He squealed in excitement as he started to write her back.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_From: Sakura_

_To: 345-676-8888_

_Just the thought of ur hands on me makes me horny._

_While u tease my nipples my hand will slide down ur pants and play with you roughly._

"You know, this isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. You can take the phone and leave if you wish little brother." Itachi mumbled, not even bothering to look down at the text message his brother had received. Sasuke smirked while quickly climbing off his brothers bed and running to his room.

Upon reaching his room Sasuke slammed the door and locked it, not wasting anytime to loose his pants and thrust his hand down into his boxers. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he thought of his girlfriend's text message.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_From: 345-676-8888_

_To: Sakura_

_Oh baby, I'd rather you deep throat me instead. I'd love to feel those lips around my dick._

Naruto smirked at the message and was about to write back but then realization hit him.

"Hinata has a dick!" He squealed, scanning the message over and over again in disbelief. "No wayyy" he mumbled in awe. There was no way.

His girlfriend couldn't be a Hermaphrodite but even if she was he couldn't just say something to her about it. What if she was sensitive and this was the only way she could tell him? Naruto gulped but continued to type back.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_From: Sakura_

_To: 345-676-8888_

_Baby I'd rather not. Dicks aren't my thing. I'll just stick with those perky nipples of urs. Num num num._

Sasuke frowned at the message as he raised an eyebrow. Sakura had never declined his dick before. It kind of punched his pride a bit to think she was starting now in a sexting conversation. She didn't even have to deep throat him at the moment and she was saying no. Ouch.

None the less Sasuke pulled his hand out of his boxer and typed her back quickly before thrusting it back in. He couldn't wait to cum. Of course it wasn't as great as when he came with Sakura but it would have to do.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_From: 345-676-8888_

_To: Sakura_

_Hmm… Fine, while you play with my nipples I'll burry my cock into that tight little hole of yours. _

Naruto's eyes widened as he scanned the message. She wanted to do him up the butt now!

"T-that has to hurt." He whimpered at the thought. Hinata wouldn't make him do it up the butt would she? She was too sweet for that, wasn't she?

Naruto thought about it for a moment and then gulp.

"If Hinata has a dick then she has guy hormones. My gopher hole is screwed." He gulped. "Literally"

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_To: 345-676-8888_

_From: Sakura_

_Baby, I think maybe we should hold that off for a while. How about those nipples of urs? Mmm, I could suck on them all day._

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_To: Sakura_

_From: 345-676-8888_

_While my cock is buried inside you_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_To: 345-676-8888_

_From: Sakura_

_How about we buy a turtle and u do the turtle with ur eyes closed and I'll moan so you think the turtle is me._

Sasuke's eye twitched. What was with her? Why was she cock blocking him…through fucking sexting!

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_To: Sakura_

_From: 345-676-8888_

_Are you fucking serious? A turtle? I agreed to never make you do it up the butt and yet you won't let me have the pleasure of doing you at all? *angry*_

Naruto's eyes widened at the message.

"S-She wanted to shove her thingy up my mammoth Weenie hole?" He screeched, gripping the roots of his hair and yanking slightly while looking at the blinking device in horror.

Grabbing a hold of it and typing with tears streaming down his eyes Naruto continued to whine to himself.

"What happened to my loving, sweet, innocent Hinata!"

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_To:_ _345-676-8888_

_From: Sakura_

_Listen Hinata, I think we should stay away from sex until ur Hermaphrodite sickness goes away._

Sasuke looked at the message in confusion. Hinata? Was Sakura…bi?

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

_To: Sakura_

_From: 345-676-8888_

_What are you talking about?_

_This is Sasuke._

Naruto nearly passed out.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shrieked while running down the hall that connected his room to his roommates. Busting through the door and jumping on her bed not so gently and threw the phone onto her lap.

Said pink haired girl groaned while glancing at the male angrily.

"What the fuck is your problem Naruto!" She hissed, glaring at him with dragger. The blonde only shivered.

"Your boyfriends gay! He wants to do me through my mammoth weenie!"

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

"So, Sasuke-kun, I heard you wanted to do Naruto through his mammoth weenie." Sakura giggled as she watched the said Uchiha scrunch his features up in disgust at the thought of what had happened four weeks ago.

"Shut up. I wanted to do you up your virgina hole." He mumbled as he crossed his arms and puckered his lips like a spoilt brat while turning away from her gaze. Giggling once again Sakura tip toed up towards her boyfriend and laid a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Poor Sasuke-kun" She murmured while wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her forehead against his. Sasuke stared into her jade pools with a stoic look plastered on his face.

"Poor Sasuke" He mumbled in aggravation. "Technology knows how to screw him over." He continued to rant, wrapping his arms around her waist as he dipped his head down into the crease between her neck and shoulder as he ran kisses along the skin.

Sakura knotted her fingers into his silky hair as she sighed in contentment. "I love you, Sasuke-kun." She whispered, kissing the top of his head as it continued to move lower until he had her nipple trapped between his lips and her shirt and bra pulled down.

"Ditto" He grumbled against her skin.

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

**L**_e_**a**_v_**e **_i_**t **_t_**o **_T_**e**_c_**h**_n_**o**_l_**o**_g_**y **_t_**o **_S_**c**_r_**e**_w _**Y**_o_**u **_Ov_**e**_r_

**~!~:::..-..::::~!~**

"Now Hinata-chan, I have to tell you that I don't like over weenie's going up my mammoth weenie." Naruto informed the very red face girl that was seated in front of him.

"N-Naruto-kun, I d-don't Unders-stand." She stuttered, extremely embarrassed.

"I don't like weenie's up my mammoth weenie cause it will probably hurt and if it somehow makes mine smaller teme's will be bigger and I will have to bow down to his wrinkled saggy weenie." He told her professionally while nodding his head.

…

…

"So Hinata, I have to ask you, are you a Hermaphrodite?"

…

***Faint***

…

…

"Is that a yes, Hinata?"

…

…

…

**Haha. I couldn't resist. I had to write this. ****J**** I hope you all liked it! Reviews? Please? **


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